3/17
There are no “right” things to say about today. There are no words to describe the feelings, the thoughts flooding my mind, the way my heart broke into two this time last year.
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Today. I have no words.
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Ironically, here I am. Writing this to you, although I have no right words to say.
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I believe it’s the moments like these where we’re left speechless and God speaks into the silence.
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As I look back on the past year of my life, so much was left broken by March 17th. But now I see that in God’s time things were mended once again. I learned to adjust. I learned to find joy amidst my circumstances I was left in by this tragic day. I learned how fragile we truly are. I learned the importance of loving one another no matter what may happen. Amidst the rubble I found pieces I couldn’t put together myself, and in this I learned the radical power of our loving God.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In this time, I’ve learned more about God and my sweet Aubrey Grace more than ever before.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The biggest hole in the pieces I couldn’t fit together was the absence of Aubrey in my life, and while staring at that one hole, I forgot about the pieces of my heart that needed to be restored. But neither of these are to be forgotten. This is when I learned that incapable of fixing what’s broken, and the only way is to turn to our creator. He is the only one, the only one big enough, powerful enough, most capable to fit these broken pieces of Jessamine County’s lives back together. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So here I am, still in the rubble left behind by March 17th, watching my ever so loving God slowly but surely fitting the broken pieces of our hearts back together. But in the rubble I see his power, I see how big our God truly is.
It’s been revealed to me on multiple occasions the so ever so tangibleness of Aubrey’s presence. Her. Her presence. Whether it’s in a moment when I feel as if I need her most, when I’m at my rock bottom, when she’d be the most proud of me, when I’m overwhelmed by the rubble of my heart still left behind, or when I’m asleep and she gets the chance to reach out to me. Those are my favorite, yet the most difficult to explain due to the intricateness and just how surreal the interaction is. But it’s her. I know it is. I can tell when it’s just me thinking of her or reliving memories of us, but I KNOW when it’s her. Her presence is so undeniable and when it is her, it’s her.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I know she’s told me things unexplainable to our minds only leaving me with the closure I need, she’s justified the promises of our God, she’s shown me love and mercy like no other, and more than anything through this she’s shown me just how REAL our God is.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She’s taught me to trust his timing and when I cannot stand to fall on him. Aubrey has taught me what a real friend looks like while teaching me to love more like Jesus, she’s taught me more about the graciousness of our father and led me deeper in my faith the past year than ever before... and for this I am eternally grateful.
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Aubrey Grace, happy one year in heaven, I know it’s been exactly what you wanted it to be and more. Thank you. I love you. Goodnight, I’ll see you soon girl.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Today. I have no words.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Ironically, here I am. Writing this to you, although I have no right words to say.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I believe it’s the moments like these where we’re left speechless and God speaks into the silence.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As I look back on the past year of my life, so much was left broken by March 17th. But now I see that in God’s time things were mended once again. I learned to adjust. I learned to find joy amidst my circumstances I was left in by this tragic day. I learned how fragile we truly are. I learned the importance of loving one another no matter what may happen. Amidst the rubble I found pieces I couldn’t put together myself, and in this I learned the radical power of our loving God.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In this time, I’ve learned more about God and my sweet Aubrey Grace more than ever before.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The biggest hole in the pieces I couldn’t fit together was the absence of Aubrey in my life, and while staring at that one hole, I forgot about the pieces of my heart that needed to be restored. But neither of these are to be forgotten. This is when I learned that incapable of fixing what’s broken, and the only way is to turn to our creator. He is the only one, the only one big enough, powerful enough, most capable to fit these broken pieces of Jessamine County’s lives back together. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So here I am, still in the rubble left behind by March 17th, watching my ever so loving God slowly but surely fitting the broken pieces of our hearts back together. But in the rubble I see his power, I see how big our God truly is.
It’s been revealed to me on multiple occasions the so ever so tangibleness of Aubrey’s presence. Her. Her presence. Whether it’s in a moment when I feel as if I need her most, when I’m at my rock bottom, when she’d be the most proud of me, when I’m overwhelmed by the rubble of my heart still left behind, or when I’m asleep and she gets the chance to reach out to me. Those are my favorite, yet the most difficult to explain due to the intricateness and just how surreal the interaction is. But it’s her. I know it is. I can tell when it’s just me thinking of her or reliving memories of us, but I KNOW when it’s her. Her presence is so undeniable and when it is her, it’s her.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I know she’s told me things unexplainable to our minds only leaving me with the closure I need, she’s justified the promises of our God, she’s shown me love and mercy like no other, and more than anything through this she’s shown me just how REAL our God is.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She’s taught me to trust his timing and when I cannot stand to fall on him. Aubrey has taught me what a real friend looks like while teaching me to love more like Jesus, she’s taught me more about the graciousness of our father and led me deeper in my faith the past year than ever before... and for this I am eternally grateful.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Aubrey Grace, happy one year in heaven, I know it’s been exactly what you wanted it to be and more. Thank you. I love you. Goodnight, I’ll see you soon girl.